I need a refuge. Yet again. А это место лучше всего подходит для ни-о-чем = обо-всем.
Now, there's this one man I'm kind of in love with. Not in *that* sense. Just. In love. High on him. Pretty-pretty princess of a man. Nice to look at. Pretty-pretty picture. With pink girly lips and curly eyelashes and eyes to die for. He's so pretty I want to hit his face, make those perfect lips and perfect nose bleed. I'm not the only one who does, by the way: he gets beaten everywhere and anywhere he appears. Such beauty cannot remain intact, it's against all laws of nature. So he bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. And I watch him bleed. I watch his pain. I'm in love.

*

This one is "Karen Reviseted" by Sonic Youth, come on -- rewind-rewind at the back of my mind when time comes for us to part. And I know it by heart:

"Now you live in the trees and salty seas, dripping out in the blue skies. You shut the door on everything, too busy getting high. And me? Just another dream theory lost inside your eyes.
She's not in your history books: lost her mind, kept her looks. Down beneath the radar screen she's lit up like gasoline.
Been through a million kicks, looking for the one that sticks.
Never would have known it then -- I might not see her again.
Top head and tails for thrills, red lips and famous hands. Sidelong and glancing still in tiny dancer-land.
We kissed; time slipped. Hard-edged, tight-lipped. See you sometime -- ask me if I care."

*

See, still seventeen, right here, right now. Making up problems when everything's just great. People: I love them and I'm afraid of them, but I'm mostly jealous. I crave attention. I don't deserve any.

*

This one I don't know by heart, but it's somewhere down the lane of memories, stored in a box. Care to guess the singer?

"Well, I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now."

And I listen to this song, and the only thing that comes to mind is this:

I'm the Angel of the Lord, he says. You don't think you deserve to be saved? he asks. Reach out and touch faith, he whispers.
We've been through much together, you and I, he says. I just want you to be at peace, he begs.
We're making it up as we go, he says.
He's free now. He's in love, but he's free.

-- I lied, I'm in love with lots of people - things - right now.